A Mother's heartbreaking essay on raising two HIV positive children goes viral
A mother's account of living with two HIV positive children has gone viral .While many would go for healthy
children,the photojournalist Jen Mosher adopted HIV positive children
.She got tired of the stigma associated with it and decided to pen down
her feelings in an write up shared over 37,000 times..She told Buzzfeed
After doing some research and talking with other families, we absolutely knew that we could do it and that HIV was a manageable chronic disease. We took a leap of faith and asked our adoption agency if there were HIV children available for adoption in China, and were told, ‘Probably not. China has lots of HIV-positive children in orphanages but they are believed to be unadoptable so they do not make them available for adoption.’Read essay below:
In spite of this, the very next day, we got matched with our HIV-positive daughter, and then later, we also got matched with and adopted another amazing HIV-positive child.
"My HIV child is playing with your child, and you don’t know it......
She has played with your child at a local private preschool, been dunked
next to yours during swim lessons, and stands in line behind your kid
in gymnastics class. My HIV-positive child has legal protections that
mean we don’t have to tell you —schools, camps, parents, or anyone
except doctors and dentists—about her HIV-positive status.
Because of the ignorance and stigma that’s been associated with HIV,
brave people have fought hard for the legal right to lie by omission
about HIV status. Our social worker
pre-adoption advised us: “Tell no one. There is so much stigma and
ignorance out there. Already your Chinese child will stick out in your
community. Do you really want to give people another reason not to
accept her?”
At kindergarten this year, my
sweet girl tried to tell your child. “Natalie, guess what? I have a
dragon in my blood. I was born with it and my China mommy had it, too.
When I take medicine the dragon stays asleep.” Natalie, and five other friends,
did not believe my daughter. In fact, one told her, “Well, I was born
in China and I have a dragon, too!” I guess he felt left out. I
explained to her they just didn’t know the whole story and couldn’t
understand. Yet.
So why don’t I have to tell schools, churches, and day cares? Because
HIV has never been transmitted in these situations, period. Modern
medications render the virus powerless. Every four months my child has
her blood checked, and every time the results are the same: the
sensitive lab tests detect no virus in her bloodstream. She is healthy,
happy, and hilarious. I bandage her scraped knees; mop up bloody noses;
share food, water, and kisses; and deal with boogies—all with no risk
and no worries about contracting HIV.
Look, she just happened to be born with it. If her birth mother had been
able to take life-changing antiretroviral drugs while she was pregnant,
my daughter would be HIV free. It’s possible that she wouldn’t even
have been relinquished for adoption. Just so you know, those expensive
medications that my daughter and other HIV-positive people take every
day? They’re free in China. Free! The government pays for them. But most
Chinese HIV-positive people don’t take them, because admitting you are
HIV positive means to die to everyone you love. You will be disowned,
kicked out. Shunned.
My daughter might date your son when she’s a teenager, and she’ll marry
and have HIV-negative babies one day—if she wants to. Please, fellow
mommies, know that HIV is nothing to be afraid of. Please look online,
google it, and talk with your pediatrician. Learn and research
so that you know the truth, too. You don’t have to take my word for it.
But just so you know, my HIV-positive kid is playing with your kid, and
you have no idea which one she is. And that’s okay.
HIV isn’t scary, but ignorance and stigma are.