MUST READ: Open Letter to David Moyes from Manchester United Fan in Nigeria
Poor start of the new season by Manchester United concerns players, experts and, of course MU fans from around the world. Below is the example of such concerns by a supporter of the ‘Red Devils’ from Nigeria (unedited).
I’m
sitting down here and watching the nigger I just handed N5,000 walk
away, a fruity-arse smile on his black-as-Satan’s-heart Yoruba face and a
spring in his hell-bound step. Why I gave him the money, you might ask.
Well, I was stupid enough to bet that my beloved Manchester United will
beat the Lucifer-worshipping, heathen Manchester City team on Sunday. I
watched absolutely gob-smacked, trying to hold in the diarrhea that was
threatening to erupt from the depths of my tortured soul as those
closet Nazis ran rings round our lethargic team and thrashed the piss
out of us on that Black Sunday. And you Sir, you are completely at
fault!
We
have played 5 league games this season. Congratulations on the 7 points
accumulated so far – abysmal
by our standards, but you are coming from
Everton, so we’ll let it slide – for now. It must be said that
expectations for your initial weeks were quite low. Being with the
fixture list and all (which you keep whining about); you have done a
fair job. That’s one way to look at it.
Another
way of looking at this bullshit is your often perplexing team
selections. Please explain to this honoured assembly why you insist on
playing that God-forsaken, knock-kneed modafoka Ashley Young? That idiot
has not made a decent cross since James Ibori was stealing the shit out
of Delta State. The last time he actually dribbled anyone was before
the coming of Christ! That dark-skinned nigga is only suited for holding
Van Persie’s kit during games, for Christ’s sakes! Drop that fool and
give Adnan Januzaj a run of games! That boy is a breath of fresh air and
looks like a far better player than that idiot Young. What is Antonio
Valencia doing on that right wing? Nigger’s so one-legged, even Khalid
Boulahrouz can mark him out of a game in his sleep. Turn that nigga into
a right back and get a decent winger to run riot there and feed RVP and
Rooney for the love of Alomo Bitters!
Ehen,
why are you even playing Chris Smalling? Yes, his grass to grace story
is inspiring, but isn’t it obvious to you that the guy plays with half a
brain? – The other half of that brain is with Phil Jones. The damn boy
can’t cross for shit. He can’t tackle to save his life, and his marking
is jerkier than a two year old playing FIFA 2014! Then there is Evra.
Look, Jesus Navas used him for training. I know you have a thing against
players with tattoos, but Buttner has actually played well for
Manchester United. Fabio as well, or is it Rafael. Play these boys.
You
might not know a lot about Nigeria, although you managed Joseph Yobo
and that fat-arse Yakubu Aiyegbeni. You might want to call them and ask
what jazz means, because I swear to God I will jazz the shit out of you
and your family if you play that imbecilic Danny Welbeck one more time. I
don’t know if you have a dark-skin quota to fill in the team so you put
Young, Welbeck and Valencia but you need to stop fielding that
mandingo-looking nigga and start putting Chicharito or Kagawa instead!
Welbeck is easily the worst player in that team and everyone unanimously
agrees on that score except your good self!
Mr.
Moyes, I don’t dodge my girlfriend and pay N100 to watch United games
in Wasiu’s viewing center down the road every weekend to be watching the
kind of rubbish you are presiding over. You need to sort this shit out,
and fast. We were tolerant of Baba because he won us a raft of titles
in his days. That privilege hasn’t been extended to you yet.
READ MORE: http://news.naij.com/49536.html
READ MORE: http://news.naij.com/49536.html
