10 Things Real Gentlemen Do
In this day and age, it’s easy to separate the gentlemen from the boys, because there are a few things real gentlemen do that other, lesser men don’t. What are these tell-tale signs of modern gentlemanliness, and how many do you, sir, recognize in your own behavior?
Grab your monocle, switch on Downton Abbey (no, to both of these), and let’s see which of these things real gentlemen do, that you do, shall we?
1. GROOM AND DRESS WELL
Like gentlemen of yore, today’s modern gentlemen dress well, and are careful about their personal grooming. Picking up wrinkled yesterday’s-jeans off the floor and pairing them with the least goat-smelling of your hoodies is fine in college, but you’re beyond that now. Before you leave the house, have a look in the mirror and make sure you’re ready for the world to see you – would you agree to a coffee date with you if you asked? Would you be happy or humiliated to run into that lovely lady in the Marketing Department? And since one of the things real gentlemen do is also pay attention to grooming, be sure your facial hair is trimmed
(this includes nose hair, by the way).
2. RESPECT OLDER LADIES (AND GENTLEMEN)
Let’s face it – gentlemen decades ago had style. Suits, ties and hats every day – they’ve seen it all, done it all, and handled it all in a very gentlemanly fashion. When grandpa waxes nostalgic, go with him down memory lane. He’ll appreciate the attention, and may loan you one of his fedoras. And here’s some inside information: we ladies go weak at the knees for a man who’s kind to old people. We can’t help it.
3. UNDERSTAND WHAT “EQUALITY” MEANS (AND WHAT IT DOESN’T)
This is one point gentlemen in eras past didn’t have to cope with, but you’re a gentleman, so you’re likely already handling this brilliantly. Equality for ladies simply means that we have the same basic rights as men, that we ought to earn the same salary for doing the same job as a man, and so on. It doesn’t mean that we want to be treated like a man, though – at least this lady doesn’t. I appreciate when a man holds a door open for me.
4. REFUSE TO GOSSIP
While catty gossip has long been held as the domain of women (not, though, that of ladies), men (though not gentlemen) have been known to indulge in this nasty habit, too. My grandmother once told me that if a friend will gossip with you, they’ll gossip about you – and she’s right. Keep the water cooler talk away from the gutter, and away from the gossip, and you’ll be thought of as more honest, trustworthy, and gentlemanly by men and women alike.
5. OFFER ASSISTANCE
Gentlemen prove that chivalry isn’t dead – they help those “weaker” than themselves. They’re most certainly not bullies; indeed, they stand up for anyone they see being bullied. They don’t pick fights, but resolve them without physical violence whenever possible. Of course, should push come to shove, they’ll use brute strength, but they know it’s to be avoided whenever possible.
6. BE POLITE, TO EVERYONE
A lady finds nothing less attractive in a man than rudeness. Modern gentlemen make it a rule to be polite to people, especially those in the service industry, even those who don’t necessarily deserve it (like slightly snarky waiters and sarcastic mall rats).
7. SHOW RESTRAINT
Gentlemen show restraint. This includes not losing their temper, cursing unnecessarily in mixed company, drinking or smoking in excess, and wolf-whistling at attractive women.
8. FATHER THEIR CHILDREN
I feel genuinely sorry for previous generations of gentlemen, who were taught, quite mistakenly, that fathering their children was unmanly. There’s no one better than a father to teach the next generation everything they need to know about behavior and life in general. And, truth be told, kids are amazingly fun to spend time with.
9. GIVE UP THEIR SEATS
This falls under the general “politeness” heading, but truly, it’s something that needs a mention all of its own. Who should a man give his seat up for? Start with the elderly, and with pregnant women. Then just use your own best judgment – does anyone else standing look like they’d really appreciate your seat?
10. KEEP THEIR WORD
I finished with a bang – this is incredibly important. If you make a promise, strive in every gentlemanly way to keep it. Trust, once broken, is nearly impossible to regain, so why bother with that hassle? Keep your word, and you won’t have to earn trust back.
