When it comes to romance, Nigerian men are known to be actively
engaging. Apart from their culture of carrying the financial burden of
relationship with women, they harness every opportunity to appeal to
their lovers, be it on social-network sites, in their respective
offices, religious organizations, gym centers, parks, clubs among
others.
Despite the many romantic attributes that could be said
of men in Nigeria, women still hold a contrary account about them.
Predominant among the contrary views women hold against men here is that
no matter how romantic they are, getting them to the altar for marriage
could be very challenging.
So, what are those factors that scare
Nigerian men away from marriage?
We have tried to compile
some reasons
that make most men feel jittery to converse on ‘Marriage’ as topic, feel
free to add yours if not in our list...
1. No wife materialsCommon
among some men is the reservation that there is scarcity of
‘wife-materials’ in Nigeria. In this case, they are not referring to
ladies not being in quantifiable distribution among men, what they are
complaining about is that most ladies of this generation lack the
necessary attributes that will qualify them for the lifetime commitment
called marriage. If this is the case, time of quality search can help
heal the wound of such man.
2. They get sex freely without marriage than in time pastRealizing
now that they can get sex more easily than in times past, when
‘virginity’ for women was a pass value to marriage, some men now feel
lot of women today have lost it when it comes to keeping themselves
whole. But, this might not be the fault of women as promiscuity is not
an exclusive act than can be carried out without the consent of either
gender.
3. Nigeria weddings are expensiveIn a
country where a man is expected to marry a woman in three different
kinds of wedding- Religious, Traditional and Court, the cost of marriage
no doubt is something men find very intimidating. As of last year, the
average Nigeria wedding cost something like N500,000 and the it goes
upward from that to more unimaginable cost. For most people, especially
in this economy, that’s a lot of money. But all we advise is that men
should try and cut their coat according to their material
4. In search of a ‘working class’Today,
most Nigerian men are in search of a wife capable of sharing financial
responsibilities with them. Gone are the days when men marry
‘full-house-wives’, the increasing cost of living has tilted most men in
favor of ladies who have a means of livelihood and willing to share
with their man, the burden of building a home.
5. Fear of freedomThere
is a common belief among some men that marriage puts an end to one’s
freedom. Single men today are much more proud about not being dependent
and being on their own. They fear marriage because they will become
answerable for every action they take to their spouse. That is one big
responsibility some men are not ready to take up.
6. CareerOne
of the predominant question most men will secretly ask themselves
before making the decision to marry are, Will my partner make agitated
about me being in office for long hours? Will he or she understand my
love for my career? These are cogent questions and answering these
questions could slow the decisive actions to be taken on marriage plans.
7. Unrealistic Expectations from In-lawsSome
parents have set certain standards for anyone who will marry their
child, either way be it that such expectations are from the groom
parent’s or bride, the regulations sometimes affect relationships. If
the expectations are behavioral, the challenge might be little but e are
some discouraging situations where parents decide the profession
qualifications, properties, etc that must be acquired by the suitor
before they can give out their child to him in marriage.
8. Trust issuesMost
times, people fear to get committed into a relationship because of
trust issues. Some men have been bruised in their past relationships and
therefore they don’t want to put themselves out there.
9. Bad Testimonies from Married coupleGenerally,
most men get intimidated by marriage as a result of the testimonies
they hear from those in marriage. Before getting into marriage talks, it
is a common thing among men to ask their brothers, friends who are
already married on how the social institution is and the testimonies
they get are most times discouraging, as such they fear their marriage
will be a replica of the testimonies they have gathered.
10. Cultural limitationsNigeria
is a country with diverse culture and The diversity sometimes create
challenges for men who are in search of women with similar culture. The
good thing though is that those who endeavor to explore inter-cultural
relationships get the opportunity to gain an in-depth appreciation of
other customs.
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