You know things are not going well for you and your spouse. Your partner
did seem stern, aloof and resentful that last time you spoke to each
other. Like always you expect them to come around, let go of the steam
and become their normal self with time. Instead, one day, you come home
to find their clothes missing from their cupboards and a piece of paper
on the dinner table- a divorce notice.
Do you think this scenario
could transpire into your life? It’s not uncommon that couples start to
fight and make up…fight and make up, until one day they fall apart for
good. Don’t neglect your relationship issues, you never know, your
relationship could be treading towards rocky roads too!
What are
the real reasons for divorce? Infidelity, lack of communication,
financial troubles, sparing sessions of sex and intimacy are some of the
reasons for divorce. Let’s look at the 10 most common reasons for
divorce and hope that you can learn from the mistakes of others.
Top 10 Reasons for Divorce:1. Infidelity
Extra-marital
affairs are responsible for the breakdown of most marriages that end in
divorce. This is one of the most common cause of divorce. The reasons
why people cheat aren’t as cut and dry as our anger may lead us to
believe. Anger and resentment are common underlying reasons for
cheating, along with differences in sexual appetite and lack of
emotional intimacy. Infidelity often begins as a seemingly innocent
friendship, says cheating expert Ruth Houston. “It starts as an
emotional affair which later becomes a physical affair”.
2. Money
Money
makes people funny, or so the saying goes, and it’s true. Everything
from different spending habits and financial goals to one spouse making
considerably more money than the other, causing a power struggle can
strain a marriage to the breaking point. “Money really touches
everything. It impacts people’s lives,” said Emmet Burns, brand
marketing director for SunTrust. Clearly, money and stress do seem to go
hand in hand for many couples.
3. Lack of communication
Communication
is crucial in marriage and not being able to communicate effectively
quickly leads to resentment and frustration for both, impacting all
aspects of a marriage. On the other hand, good communication is the
foundation of a strong marriage. Yelling at your spouse, not talking
enough throughout the day, making nasty comments to express yourself are
all unhealthy methods of communication that need to be ditched in a
marriage. Practicing mindful communication, to change age-old marriage
mistakes, can be hard but it’s well worth the effort to improve and save
your relationship.
4. Constant arguing
From bickering about
chores to arguing about the kids; incessant arguing kills many
relationships. Couples who seem to keep having the same argument over
again often do so because they feel they’re not being heard or
appreciated. Many find it hard to see the other person’s point of view,
which leads to a lot of arguments without ever coming to a resolution.
5. Weight gain
It
may seem awfully superficial or unfair, but weight gain is a common
reason for divorce. In some cases a significant amount of weight gain
causes the other spouse to become less physically attracted while for
others, weight gain takes a toll on their self-esteem, which trickles
into issues with intimacy.
6. Unrealistic expectations
It’s
easy to go into a marriage with lofty expectations; expecting your
spouse and the marriage to live up to your image of what they should be.
These expectations can put a lot of strain on the other person, leaving
you feeling let down and setting your spouse up for failure.
7. Lack of intimacy
Not
feeling connected to your partner can quickly ruin a marriage because
it leaves couples feeling as though they’re living with a stranger or
more like roommates than spouses. This can be from a lack of physical or
emotional intimacy and isn’t always about sex. If you are constantly
giving your spouse the cold shoulder, then know that over time it can
become the ground for divorce. Making your relationship intimate and
special is the responsibility of both partners. Practice little acts of
kindness, appreciation and enjoy physical intimacy as much as possible
to sweeten your relationship.
8. Lack of equality
When one
partner feels that they take on more responsibility in the marriage, it
can alter their view of the other person and lead to resentment. Every
couple must negotiate through their own and unique set of challenges,
and find their own way of living together as two equals who enjoy a
respectful, harmonious and joyful relationship.
9. Not being prepared for marriage
A
surprising number of couples of all ages have blamed not being prepared
for married life for the demise of their relationship. Divorce rates
are highest among couples in their 20s. Almost half the divorces occur
in the first 10 years of marriage, especially between the fourth and
eighth anniversary.
10. Abuse
Physical or emotional abuse is a
sad reality for some couples. It doesn’t always stem from the abuser
being a “bad” person; deep emotional issues are usually to blame.
Regardless of the reason, no one should tolerate abuse and be removing
yourself from the relationship safely is important.
No marriage
is easy. Even couples with the best intentions are sometimes unable to
overcome their challenges and end up in courtrooms. That’s why it’s
important to address issues in your relationship early on. Don’t wait
until they are beyond fixing. Practice kindness, make intimacy a
priority, go on holidays and seek marriage counseling (even when things
are fine) to preserve the health and longevity of your relationship. Try
your very best before you decide that things are beyond your control
and it is time to give up. That way you can have the peace of knowing
you tried all of the alternatives before the big step.
0 Comments