Being
in a relationship can be such a pleasurable experience, from the
unending phone calls, to sweet text messages, and some soft cuddling,
and even sometimes the hand-in-hand walking of two love butterflies
makes being in a relationship such a sweet experience.
But just
when does a relationship turn into an obsession? Gory stories from
obsessed relationships are becoming too rampant nowadays. I once heard
the story of a lady setting herself on fire because her boyfriend
decided to quit the relationship because he turned 'born-again'. And I
recently read d story of a guy slit his girlfriend's throat because she
called it quit! Now that's terrible you say? But do you mind checking
into your own relationship right now? Are you obsessed or is your
partner obsessed with you?
Here are few clues to know:
1. The Family Deal
When
you are just at the early stage of your relationship and your partner
thinks meeting your parents is a big freaking deal. That's way too fast,
and this might eventually lead to an emotional disturbance later. You
need to slow down.
2. The Looks
Jealous much? Does your
partner's look indicate unnecessary jealousy? Watch for phone patterns
too. Are your partner's voicemails like monologues? Does he/she text
you so often you feel like a doctor on call? If your partner is watching
your every move, it’s time to back away … very… slowly…
3. You become your partner's project
You
swear you can remember somehow getting through life without being
remote controlled by your partner… But you aren’t sure how, since
apparently you need your partner to tell you how to dress, act, eat and
even THINK! It’s like a parasite got in your brain... Say anything, and
even pass up your fun time/or time meant to have fun with your friends
to go to your partner's 8-year-old niece’s birthday party. Obsessive
lovers often manipulate situations to keep their partners to themselves.
WAKE UP!
4. Fear and Loathing
If your buddies can’t stand
your partner or pay you a visit whenever your partner is around, shame
on you for even reading this article when you should be out dumping
him/her.
5. Public Displays of Agro
It's ridiculous how
some peeps BERATE their partners, screeching at them in public like a
shopping banshee. If you are repressing a frequent urge to strangle your
girlfriend/boyfriend for humiliating you and making huge scenes – guess
what? Curb that puppy.
6. The Police Game
When your
partner starts to monitor your phone calls. And also sneaks over to read
your chats and text messages. He/she wants to know about all your
friends and even monitor your daily schedule. Or even start smelling
your clothes and underwear! Obsessive people don’t respect privacy.
They run through your phone contacts and will even call friends and
relatives to gather information about you. Buddy, its time to do the
'moonwalk'.
7. The Relentless Promise
When your partner
calls you now and then on the phone, asking you to promise them you'll
never leave them. When you wake up in the midnight and you find your
partner just staring at you, and you ask why and they say "they just
love you." Or your partner simply feels inferior without you. Charlie,
it's time to run!!!
8. You are the ANSWER
The non-obsessed
consider the possibility of a future, while the potential bunny-boiler
has already made up their minds that THIS IS IT! The obsessive partner
has already determined that this is his/her one and only love who will
be his/her partner for life and begins to make plans for the future.
9. No Trust
If
your partner can’t get it out of their mind that you are cheating on
them and they keep accusing you of having phantom encounters with random
people, you might need to have some serious introspection.
10. Forcing the L-word
If
your partner makes you say "I Love You" EVERY TIME you talk, especially
if it’s a phone call. Or probably they say it and you decide not to
say “I love you too!” And your partner immediately thinks you don’t love
them anymore, or that you are with another person. Hey! Hey!! Can you
hear me? It's time to walk away.
Hear this! If you recognize
yourself in this list, you might need to step back and think about what
emotional feelings of insecurity or low self-esteem
that is fueling this behavior. Otherwise, it will keep happening and you’ll keep wondering why you’re always getting dumped.
But
if you agree with me that your partner is obsessed with you, and you
don't want to put your life in danger, here's how to back out:
The Extraction Game.
Extracting
a mental partner is like defusing a bomb. If you are a jerk, it’s like
pouring gas on a fire. Your partner will want you more. Any sign of
resistance will draw them closer. But here's the best thing to do?
Become undesirable. Add weight! Be displeasing! Start doing things that
would make your partner lose interest in you. It’ll be fun.
Never,
ever attempt to talk your obsessive partner into 'breaking up' with
them, or call a third-party to help dissolve the relationship. You might
as well try sky diving!!!
Yours sincerely.
