My husband is tidier than I am - Ashionye Raccah
Actress, producer and singer, Ashionye Raccah and her husband, Carl, share their love story
What circumstances led to your meeting?
Ashionye: We met 15 years ago at the office of the then Managing Director of MTN Nigeria, Adrian Wood.
Carl: Mr. Woods invited me to meet three fantastic singers who later became known as Emete. My wife was one of them.
Was it love at first sight?
Ashionye: I was
astonished at how long his hair was; the length reached his waist. I
wondered how a man could have such gorgeous hair. I was first of all
attracted to his hair before I even took note of his good looks. We were
there for work and along the line we became friends. We became friends
because we had a lot of shared interests. It just happened and by the
end of that year, we began to
date.
What qualities do you admire in each other?
Carl: She is fun to be
with, relaxed and there was no airs and graces about her. She was and is
never really about money, which I consider to be a fantastic quality.
Whatever each person has belongs to the both of us.
Ashionye: I found him
to be kind and different which set him apart from other male friends I
had in the past. Before I met him, I had only dated two other people. I
realised it was easy for me to talk to him.
How long did you date?
Ashionye: We have known
each other for 15 years but we have been married for six years. We
dated for eight years even though we broke off the relationship at some
point. We came back together and decided to get married.
Why did your courtship last eight years?
Carl: I wanted to
fortify my career and I didn’t think it was proper to make someone
else’s daughter live in a condition that was to some extent insecure. I
always told myself we would get married once we achieved some level of
growth in our careers. It never happened the way we planned it, so we
decided to get married nevertheless.
How did he propose?
Ashionye: I found the
ring hidden in his socks which was placed somewhere in his wardrobe.
Although I had my things at his place, I didn’t see the engagement
coming. When I showed him the ring, he said, “you ruined the surprise,’’
and I told him to go ahead and propose.
How would you describe your marriage?
Ashionye: It has been
great because I married my friend. We have our ups and downs, we argue
but always find a meeting point. I love my opinions to be heard at all
times.
Carl: It is a democratic relationship because she decides and I agree.
Does his race and nationality come to play?
Ashionye: I do not even
see his skin colour because he is just like you and I. I did not know
he knew so much about Nigeria. He is more Nigerian than I am.
Carl: I am a little
different from most white-skinned people who live in Nigeria because I
was born and raised in Kano State. I speak Hausa fluently and I
understand the northern culture. Ironically, the first time I
encountered racism was while I was schooling in England because I am
brown and not white. I am not what you would call a white man or
expatriate. What matters is who is you are because my wife and I do not
judge you by your colour or religion.
Were your families accommodating of your choice of spouse?
Carl: One remarkable
thing that makes our marriage work is that I have not met many Nigerian
families who are welcoming. Her father is one of the nicest men I have
met and her siblings are not judgmental. When my late grandmother turned
104, she began to forget names and faces but she never forgot
Ashionye’s.
Ashionye: When we were
going to attend grandmother’s birthday, in 2004, I told my dad I was
visiting Ireland with Carl. He asked if I was going to spend the rest of
my life with Carl and I answered in the affirmative.
Why are you are very involved in your wife’s career?
Carl: People appear to
have this misconception that I had something to do with making her a
star but truth is that Ashionye deserves all the accolades because she
is talented. Yes, she got one or two breaks because of the people I know
but if I opened any door for Ashionye, it’s because she deserves it.
How do you spend time together as a family?
Ashionye: We watch television with our son and sometimes we go out to have lunch.
Carl: We are lucky to
be in the same industry. Now, we do more work together than we did in
the past. When she is producing her movies, I do the sound track and
edit. I am currently doing children’s television and she is producing
and directing our programme titled Kid’s Zone. When we go out or travel,
we don’t take work with us.
Does he help out in the house?
Ashionye: He doesn’t
cook but he is a lot tidier than I am. However, he can make a mean cup
of coffee. Whenever I get back from an outing, I take off my clothes and
place them on the couch in the room. Without making a fuss, he folds
the clothes and puts them away. He shares a very great bond with our son
and baths him regularly. Our son brought more happiness to our home.
Carl: I do the washing and cleaning because I don’t care. I am a lot neater than the guy who cleans our house.
Do you have a joint account?
Carl: Here in Nigeria, we have our individual and company accounts. In Europe, we have joint and individual accounts.
